The Lake NO Show

   It’s the question on every Angelino’s mind, “How much higher will gas prices go?”
Okay, maybe it’s the second question on some Angelinos’ minds... “What’s wrong with the Lakers?”

Lakers this season

   After winning 17 of its first 18 games after the All-Star Break, Los Angeles has dropped five straight games. (The longest losing streak for Kobe & Co. since dropping seven straight, during the 06-07 season...or the pre- Pau Gasol era) This Lakers team has been about as schizophrenic as Jim Carrey in Me, Myself & Irene.

   Blowing out Western Conference powers like Dallas and San Antonio, but losing to the likes of Utah (minus Coach, Jerry Sloan and point guard, Deron Williams) and the CLEVELAND CAVALIERS (that’s how Cavs owner Dan Gilbert spells it).

   So, with two games remaining before the NBA postseason begins and the Lakers tied with Dallas for the West’s two seed and Oklahoma City a game behind both of them at four, things are a bit dicey in "Laker Land".  Ron Artest is a liability once again...Mr Kardashian (Lamar Odom) needs to stop making reality shows, reserve Shannon Brown is the scape goat, Andrew Bynum and Pau Gasol are perplexed by the concept of offense and Matt Barnes may have too many tattoos.

Sulking? Crying? Wiping sweat from eyes?

   However, you don't hear too many negative things about old number 24..The Black Mamba or Kobe Bryant as he’s known by the IRS (taxes this Friday don’t forget..) as he consistently posts 10-25 shooting nights. “Kobe is just trying to get us back in the game.” Sure he scored L.A.’s last 14 points of the first half in Portland, but he also went 10-25…go figure…in the 93-86 loss.

   But, to finger point this late in the season would be suicidal…just ask the Boston Celtics…Sure Kobe is mad and sulks in the training room, interviews and anywhere else he can…But the glaring problem seems to be TO…No 49ers, Eagles, Cowboys, Bills and Bengals fans not that T.O. , but TO or turnovers.

   Prior to Sunday’s game, the Lakers were averaging 18.3 turnovers per game in their previous four losses. (20 turnovers against Denver, 19 against Utah, 17 against Golden State and 17 against Portland)

   Sunday versus the Thunder, it looked like the Lakers had figured things out. Through three quarters, L.A. committed only one turnover, but managed and eye popping NINE in the final 12 minutes. There’s less turnover at the post office…

   In the final three minutes, Kobe had a bad pass for a turnover, stepped out of bounds with the ball and lost the ball another time. (According to Bryant, all a result of good defense.) Despite the sloppy fourth the Lakers won the turnover battle 10 to 13 but lost the game, 120-106.

   Most baffling though, is that Laker fans seem distressed about this losing streak, and feel a third straight parade through Downtown L.A. is about as likely as a sequel to Gigli. If the Lakers don’t three-peat and there isn’t a parade…just imagine all the money Angelino’s would save on gas…



Please Mr. Jennifer Garner, NO SEQUEL!!!!



An Imperfect End

So how did that Kansas versus Ohio State matchup work out for ya?



Andre Rison's house thanks to his girlfriend

  Okay, so your bracket was torched quicker than former NFL wideout, Andre Rison’s house (see the late Lisa “Left Eye" Lopes).

  But wasn’t the whole Butler, VCU, UConn, Florida State, Morehead State thing fun?

   At first yes, but when the highest seed in the Final Four is a three and then Butler shoots 18.8% from the field in a 53-41 loss (worst shooting percentage in title game history) it leaves fans wanting more.

I’d watch Kansas play Ohio State or Duke right now despite what VCU, Kentucky and Arizona did to each of those teams.

Gary Busey..being Gary Busey

  

   Just because Butler’s offense was more clueless than Gary Busey doing the New York Times crossword puzzle, that doesn’t mean UConn shouldn’t be celebrated. The Huskies won 11 straight games in 27 nights and became the third team to start the season unranked and win the National Championship.

  
   But rather than run down the stats, and how amazing junior guard, Kemba Walker, is (not so good in the Title Game though, but he didn’t need to be..see 18.8%) the question remains, “is the tournament diluted by too many teams?”

Expanding the field by four teams didn’t seem like a big deal, but when one of those teams makes the Final Four…how do they say it in the twitter world…#OOPS
   So now, the six people that support the BCS have backed away from their computers and are standing on top of their desks yelling that this is a prime example of why the BCS WORKS! They argue that there has never been a national championship performance as horrific as last night’s Butler vs. UConn game during the BCS era…
Matt Leinart, Reggie Bush, Jason White and Adrian Peterson would beg to differ…
(2005 Orange Bowl USC 55 OU 19)
   Sports, like life and the late Elizabeth Taylor’s marriages, aren’t perfect. Does college football need a playoff? In my opinion, yes. Does the BCS work? Like Randy Moss’ marijuana habits (his words here) Once in a blue moon…If the NCAA had a playoff with 8-10 teams, essentially you would have the elite teams going head to head. Currently too much weight is placed on what voters think of a team before said team plays a game. (“The” Ohio State every season)
    And college basketball may have too many teams in the tournament, but I believe this year’s debacle was based on a lack of a true dominant team and players. (Yes Ohio State and Kansas entered the tourney with 32-2 records, but a six man rotation and a Bill Self team??) 18.8% or otherwise, arguably the best player in the nation is holding the trophy on April 5th…and no BYU fans his name is not Jimmer…


Kemba Walker celebrates a 53-41 win over Butler



A Nightmarish Precedent

Who doesn't love a good underdog story? Me...(DISCLAIMER: I was perfect in the East Region and had one of my better years with my bracket picks)



With both shoes ON for a change

Even so, I am and have never been a big fan of underdogs or cindarellas. (I mean she wears glass slippers and leaves them all over the place...worse than a Kardashian..)

Sure the American Dream is based on them, and many would tell you there's nothing about me that screams "Favorite!"  But you can't tell me every so often it's not fun to watch a team dominate from the beginning of a season to the end. (Ie. Jordan's Bulls) Unless you live in Utah of course (See 97' and 98' Jazz)..

Ok, maybe I'm still in the minority, but I'm certain the majority didn't expect the 2011 NCAA Tournament Underdog to be Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU). 


He didn't...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKbnRSIjjPk&feature=player_embedded
And neither did he..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ace6MPGIY2w&feature=player_embedded
Clueless analysts aside, five wins against five major conferences (Pac 10, Big East, Big 10, ACC, Big 12) and three games with 12 3-point field goals and VCU is Final Four bound.  Lucky? Possibly.  But, the Rams performance demands respect.  VCU is now the first team to go from the First Four to the Final Four (this is the first year the tournament has gone to 68 teams, instead of 64)
So, while the city of Richmond celebrates
http://www.buzzfeed.com/sportsfeeder/vcu-fans-take-to-richmond-streets-to-celebrate-tea-2h2q
college basketball fans should cringe.  VCU's run has now opened up a pandora's box of sorts. 

Do you know any of their names?

Selection Sunday was filled with controversy, because many thought Colorado and Virginia Tech were more deserving of Tournament bids than VCU and University of Alabama Birmingham (UAB).  But, unless you were a Buffalo or Hokie alum you got over it by Tuesday.  Now though, you can't help but wonder if this year's Final Four would have featured Colorado or Virginia Tech as well.

Many will say the selection committee seeded teams incorrectly, giving good teams poor seeds..But there was no argument, VCU and UAB didn't deserve to make this year's tourney.  Which begs the question..should the tournament allow more teams to participate?  More expansion?  Because if one of the last teams in the Tournament is Final Four worthy....

For now though, what seemed like fiction for VCU will reach its non-fictional conclusion this weekend.  And whether the glass slipper fits or not for the Rams, the 2011 Tournament will serve as a prelude to plenty more chaotic tournaments.  

Peer Pressure

Another day, another court appearance for LiLo

The East coast is covered in snow, Lindsay Lohan is in court, Chris Brown is angry and college students are partying. All of these seem to be year long occurrences, so unless you own a sun dial or an iPhone, good luck deciphering the month and date...But before you head to your nearest Apple Store, lets take one more look at the headlines...

Brackets, bubbles, TIElighters, Jayhawks, Blue Devils, Golden Bears and Eagles, Spiders and Huskies, Gus Johnson and Bill Raftery yelling about something...sounds like March Madness......
AND
Barry Bonds is on trial.

Ah, March 2011 is finally upon us.

Bonds of course holds the single season (73) and career (762)  home run records, but many believe he did so on steroids..a BIG no no..

Bonds claimed during the notorious BALCO trial that he, "Never knowingly took steroids." He thought he was being given a "flaxseed oil." Knowingly or unknowingly, Bonds admitted he took steroids. But, the federal government believes Bonds perjured himself and seeks "justice." 

And anyone that watches Law and Order (SVU, LA, Criminal Intent, Trial by Jury Conviction, UK) and I thought there were too many Survivors.....realizes a trial needs a jury.

688 times during his career, the former Pittsburgh Pirates and San Francisco Giants left fielder had his fate decided for him via an intentional walk...now his fate rests in the hands of 12 jurors.



Flaxseed Oil worked?

But how does the government plan to find 12 peers to Bonds ("a jury of his peers")..

For starters, I've never met anyone with a size 9 hat....

Here are a few of the questions asked of potential jurors. And remember, the ideal juror knows as little as possible about the case, probably is not a sports fan, hasn't really heard of Bonds and can deal with the issue of steroids in a fair and impartial manner....

"Have you previously served on a jury?"
This is like a 1 vs. 16 matchup...very simple..Yes or No

"Have you ever followed trials closely on TV, radio or in the news?"
  Of course! What else was there to watch on a Thursday? Jersey Shore?..

"Do you write your own blog or post comments to another blog?"
  Unless you're familiar with Vlahos' Voice..then no.

"Have you attended a professional baseball game in the last five years?"
  I didn't realize my love of cracker jacks was admissible.....Hey, who's on trial here!?

"Should government agencies be involved with pro sports and governing the use of steroids?"
  The government should get rid of the BCS, and stop filling out brackets!

"Do you have a favorable opinion of Barry Bonds?"
   bahahahah, LOL...oh you're serious?

"Can you think of any reason that would prevent you from being a fair and impartial juror in this case?"

The last question gets at the heart of the problem.  If you've heard of Barry Bonds, it's virtually impossible not to have an opinion about him. One way or another. The man is a polarizing figure.  If you've attended a baseball game and didn't drink ten $8 beers, you have some opinion on steroids in baseball. 
During his 22-year career, Bonds had virtually no peers, so how exactly do you plan to find 12...?

By no means am I saying this trial is unfair. Ridiculous? Yes. Karma? Yes.

Nobody seemed to mind when Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire looked like professional wrestlers hitting baseballs 700 feet, but when baseball's "bad guy and malcontent" did it...Things stopped being fun..it was time to get moral. Those in support of this trial say, "We will know the truth about the Steroid Era and Barry Bonds."

What else is there to know? The players (pitchers and hitters) were on steroids, ballparks were smaller, the baseballs may have been juiced, and the bats were harder. And Bonds "admitted" he was on steroids. What else could we possibly want or need to know?

So enjoy watching the government spend our money prosecuting a BASEBALL PLAYER because he hit too many home runs on drugs....

And I thought gas prices were a waste of money.

"I am not a crook."

A Crying Shame

There are a few unwritten rules in society....you
-don’t wear white after Labor Day 
-don’t talk with your mouth full
-the guy has to pay for dinner on the first date (even if dessert is the most exciting part of the date)
-and men aren't allowed to cry...
That last unwritten rule is the most scrutinized. Some people say men can't cry because it makes them seem soft or feminine.  And that men shouldn't cry because they are supposed to express their emotions in a more masculine way, or not at all.  Personally I think it depends on the situation.
Crying over the death of a loved one..good crying

Crying at the end of Toy Story 3..bad crying

What about when it comes to sports?  Should men cry when they get injured or fail? Again it depends.

Tear three knee ligaments..good crying

Former NFL Coach Dick Vermeil at every press conference...bad crying

Dick Vermeil press conference

In 1992 Tom Hanks told the world, "There's no crying in baseball!"

But what about basketball?

After losing its fourth straight game, the Miami Heat became exhibit A. 

(left to right)
Biggest Ego, Bigger Ego , Big Ego

Miami lost Sunday to the Chicago Bulls at home, 87-86 after blowing a double digit lead.  The loss ended a week that saw the three UmmEgos (LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh) lose at home to the New York Knicks (who Cleveland is 3-0 against this season)..blow a 24-point lead at home to Orlando..and lose by 30 in San Antonio. 

Except for the Spurs blowout, Miami had a chance to tie or win each of these games in the final seconds, only to have one of its three UmmEgos..er..stars miss the shot. (Miami is 1-16 in the final seconds of games when attempting to tie the score or take the lead this season..worst in the NBA)

Upsetting? Yes. Devastating? You bet. Worth crying about?.....
Following the game, Heat Coach Erik Spoelstra, mentioned at his press conference that some of his players were crying in the locker room.  The first question that comes to mind is...who? In a time where athelete's hearts and will to win is questioned isn't it good the Heat care this much?
Definitely, but I don't think the players (whoever they were) were crying because they were sad about the loss.  Maybe they just got the news that their Ipad is outdated..(thanks Steve Jobs and Ipad 2). Maybe someone was upset Charlie Sheen can't see his kids... Or maybe they were just frustrated.

While everyone wants to examine if the players should or shouldn't be crying, the real question is why Spoelstra felt the need to mention it.  What happens in the locker room stays in the locker room. (It's like Vegas, minus the slot machine bells and cigarette smoke).  The 40-year-old coach has been questioned all season, due to his lack of experience and questionable offense (he doesn't have one).  However, this is a firable offense.  He didn't just throw his players under the bus. He made the bus driver back up over them and run them over another time.  Earlier in the season LeBron bumped Spoelstra on the sideline during a timeout..it was clear the players didn't respect their coach.  Following Sunday's comments, they have no reason to trust him either. So, the debate whether men should express their emotions by crying rages on, but if Spoelstra is fired at the end of the season, don't expect anyone in the Miami locker room to shed a tear...

Can I get you a Kleenex coach?
Sorry Bosh used them all...

ENOUGH ALREADY!

Charlie Sheen being Charlie Sheen

  Charlie Sheen, (hopefully you're still reading) Terrell Owens, Chad Johnson or Ochocinco, Brett Favre, Roger Clemens, Alex Rodriguez, and LeBron James.  What do they all have in common?  No, only Sheen has tiger blood coursing through his veins (his words).  All of these men are talented at what they do, but no one can remember what exactly that is...

   It seems that every yahoo with a camera, and a pair of wireless microphones has interviewed Sheen in the past week.  Asking him about his wide array of problems or strengths depending on whom you ask...The man who starred in Major League and Two and A Half Men, is two and a half interviews away from complete irrelevance.  True, one reason Sheen's CBS hit was so successful is because the script mirrored his real life, but did anyone realize it was this out of control?

   
Sheen's behavior is similar to that of star wide reciever, Terrell Owens, who has held press conferences in his driveway while doing situps.  Owens has cried over his quarterback, had an alleged suicide attempt, ran 50 yards to the Cowboy star in Dallas (as a member of the 49ers) to say "Look at me". I could continue my rant about Owens, but sadly it won't have anything to do with his 1,078 career catches and 153 TD receptions (Hall of Fame worthy numbers).



Terrell Owens and the imfamous press conference



    There's Bengals wide reciever, Chad Johnson or Ochocinco, who changed his surname TWICE..enough said. Pitcher, Roger Clemens, who isn't known best for his 7 Cy Young Awards anymore..Instead he is known for his federal trial about steroids and perjury.  Before that it was the retiring and unretiring...allow me to introduce you to legendary quarterback, Brett Favre.  Not only does the man spell his own last name incorrectly (pronounced Farve..spelled Favre) he has never met a camera or microphone he hasn't liked. When he approaches a microphone it's breaking news.."Is he retiring, or is he going to tell us what he ate for lunch?"





A-Rod's GQ Photo Shoot



  There's Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez, who is more well known for his ridiculous steroid story, and the actresses (Kate Hudson, Madonna and Cameron Diaz..not in that order, but who knows) he dates.  Instead of his pursuit to become the "Tainted" All Time Home Run King, GQ photoshoots with mirrors, self portraits as a centaur and tanning in Central Park define him.

  

   And LeBron James.  The only man in American history who felt the need to televise an important life decision.  Imagine if your choice of breakfast cereal included 40 media affiliates, a teleprompter, a boys and girls club and Jim Gray?  "Well Jim..after not much thought, I've decided to go with the Frosted Flakes over Cheerios...I hear they're great!!"

   To quote LeBron, the media is faced with a simple question.."What should I do?"  If a public figure, or entertainer has something to say shouldn't I cover it?  Isn't that newsworthy?  Maybe at first..But hearing Brett Favre hold a meaningless press conference in September is not breaking news.  It shouldn't hijack ESPN airwaves.  WORD TO THE MEDIA..If you interview Charlie Sheen it is no longer exclusive.  The first or second interview he did may have been newsworthy....But, I see Sheen on TV now, more then I ever used to see Dan Rather.

  While the media can't be blamed for these men's ridiculous behavior it certainly does not discourage their actions.  Unless news organizations make some serious changes, the athlete's and actor's names will change, but the overblown sensationalized coverage will not.

No More Drama

   The Egyptians can stop rioting, the Democrats can go back to Wisconsin and the entire country can exhale...the "Melo Drama" has finally come to a conclusion.  And not a moment too soon, unless you ask that rich Russian guy in Jersey...

New Jersey Nets Owner, Mikhail Prokhorov
(worth $22.7 billion, and he couldn't get a better suit?)

   How could something so simple become as chaotic as a night at Charlie Sheen's? Going into this season former Nuggets forward, Carmelo Anthony, made his free agency plans clear. He had no interest staying in Denver and wanted to join Amare Stoudemire in New York. He also did not want to be traded in the middle of the 2010-11 season and become a rental player for 25 games.

   So, if you're the New York Knicks this should be pretty simple right?...Not exactly. See that's because your neighbor, the New Jersey Nets, are owned by a Russian billionaire (Mikhail Prokhorov) who will do and pay whatever he has to in order to win games.

(Disclaimer) The next paragraph may never make sense...

   The Nets try and work out a deal with Denver for Carmelo, and all of a sudden Anthony changes his tune quicker than Justin Bieber hitting puberty. He feels that the Nets want him more than the Knicks because they are showing interest. Anthony says he wouldn't have a problem going to New Jersey and signing an extension to play there long term or even staying in Denver.



Cameron Diaz feeding Alex Rodriguez popcorn at Super Bowl XLV
(no idea if it was buttered)



   Not wanting New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez to be fed popcorn by Cameron Diaz at Nets games next season, the Knicks react and end up trading four players (including their starting point guard) and a first round draft pick for Anthony, Chauncey Billups and three other players.

This is like when you eat a bag of cookies an hour before dinner and when the five course meal is ready, you're too full and too sick to eat anything. Instead of being patient and waiting till free agency this summer, Melo forced the Knicks to trade away four players and a first round draft pick it could have kept... All so he could take his talents to Madison Square Garden before the season ended.

   The most I've seen of Denver is the airport, but I can't imagine it's so bad that Carmelo would be this desperate to get out of town. I doubt he had a problem with the altitude, I hear the mountains are quite picturesque..Many locals have told me the best part of Denver is sharing the same air as former Broncos quarterback, John Elway, so that's another reason to stay. Perhaps it was the fear that soon he would be overshadowed by Timothy Richard Tebow? Whatever reason Melo had for leaving, I'm just happy Jim Gray didn't play a role in THIS "Decision"...



Sportscaster, Jim Gray
(I wonder what Lebron is doing..)