I Owe Yousss...

   Megan Fox, Britney Spears, Winona Ryder Lindsay Lohan, Uncle Leo from Seinfeld, and Mike Leake..

   Okay, there is a major drop off in name recognition and google image hits for the last two names, but these six people have one thing in common…All have been accused of shoplifting. Uncle Leo, stole a book from a library and was a sitcom character so I’ll give him a pass…but the actions of the remaining five leave me as dumbfounded as Dodgers “owner”, Frank McCourt…

G-rated picture of Megan Fox

   While Megan Fox continues to steal hearts, she learned the friendliest thing at Wal-Mart is the greeter. That's right, Megan Fox is banned from all Wal-Marts forever, just like your cousin.

   After stealing a $7 tube of lip gloss from a Florida branch in her troubled teenage years (and how many guys wish they knew her then), Fox was banned from ever stepping foot into their stores again.

Upon further review….she gets a pass.
   Kevin Federline’s old main squeeze, Britney Spears, has been rushed out of a store without paying for a $200 top (she was wearing it), swiped a disposable lighter from a gas station on her way out and took off with a wig from a sex shop once. Tough to blame her for the last one, she didn't have any hair…still though NO pass..
   Lindsay Lohan is in the news enough, and I’m tired of talking about her…..so
   Winona Ryder is a stone cold criminal after being arrested in 2001 for shoplifting more than $5,000 of merchandise from Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills. Winona was sentenced to three years probation and 480 hours of community service.
   All of this leads me to Cincinnati Reds pitcher Mike Leake. The right hander was arrested and accused of shoplifting last week. Employees at an area Macy's claim he stole almost $60 in property.

Now turn to your right...

   One local report suggests the incident might have been a botched exchange of merchandise. Leake released a statement after his arrest, apologizing "for this distraction." He declined to talk about the details after his Thursday start. There’s also, no truth to the report that the home plate umpire asked Leake to return the resin bag to the mound after his start….

   Here’s what makes the story so MIND BOGGLING…Leake was a first round pick in 2009 (8th overall) and received a $2,270,000 signing bonus. And on April ll, 2010 signed a Signed 1-year, $400,000 contract with the Reds and will earn $425,000 this year.. For those without a calculator let me do the math…
  
   $2,270,000 + $400,000 + $25,000 = a lot of stuff from Macys.

So why the five finger discount?
   According to the National Association for Shoplifting Prevention: One in 11 people commit the crime, 75 percent are adults, and one-third commit the crime habitually (more than once a month).Very few shoplift for profit -- about three percent, according to those NASP statistics. Instead, many shoplift for the thrill one feels when he or she conceals the item, walks through the door, turns around, and sees nobody pursuing.
   But this isn’t even the most puzzling case of a kleptomaniac athlete.
   Jennifer Capriati is a former World No. 1 professional tennis player, but not much of a shoplifter.
   In 1993, she was caught shoplifting jewelry at a suburban Tampa, Florida shopping mall. After trying on a number of inexpensive rings at a kiosk, Capriati left without taking off at least one of them. The ring was worth $15.!!!!!
   So I’m left asking the same question I started with. “What’s Megan Fox’s number”..errr I mean why do the rich engage in petty theft? Surely they can afford virtually anything. And maybe Leake is innocent, either way I’m going to need to get my hands on one of these shirts…after I swipe my credit card of course…

Clever....

sNOw CLUE

   Whether you deliver news or sports as part of a professional media organization or just for fun, there are a few basic principles.
Writers must adhere to the correct style guidelines of their publications.

   Bloggers…usually don’t.

National and local broadcasters must look professional on air.

   Those on public access television or podcasts…usually don’t.

John Steigerwald

But, no matter one’s level of experience or status one must always, CHECK THEIR FACTS!

   The 5 W’s and H…and no that’s not another animal rights group.

Who, What, When, Where, Why, How?

   This brings me to former Pittsburgh sports anchor and current writer for the Observer Reporter, John Steigerwald.  Today (When), Steigerwald (Who) wrote a column (what) on observer-reporter.com (where) claiming that it was San Francisco Giants fan, “Bryan Snow of Sacramento’s fault he was beaten into a medically induced coma.” (I still have no idea How or Why this was published, considering this never happened.) 

   Bryan Snow of Sacramento wasn’t beaten up following the Giants 2-1 Opening Day loss in Los Angeles. Bryan STOW of SANTA CRUZ was.

   One time is BAD, given that this story has been in the news for almost two weeks and “The Bryan Stow Fund” has been on every press release.  Steigerwald (who I could refer to as Jones given how important he believes last names are to a story) calls STOW, “Snow” five times in the,“article.”

And that’s not what people found most offensive about this, “article.”

   Steigerwald believes it was “Snow’s fault” (STOW) he was beaten up because a 42-year- old man has no right to wear a team’s jersey.  He must behave like an adult and not a kid.  Then, to wear the opposing team’s jersey to a rivalry game was just asking for it.

   I think Steigerwald is trying to say that die hard fans with jerseys and face paint contribute to violence at stadiums, which is true. (I don’t want to put words in his mouth because he can’t seem to put them on paper) But, his assertion that by wearing a Giants jersey, “Snow” STOW should have seen this coming (Ironic given he was sucker punched in the dark from behind) is blasphemous.
   The Dodgers needed security in the parking lot, better lighting, or stopping the sale of beer earlier in the game are all viable solutions.  But, the fan shouldn’t have worn the jersey…Really? This is still America right? Where there’s that whole freedom of speech thing.  How about fans just need to learn to control themselves, have fun and realize the game ends on the field…not in the parking lot.  The two men that attacked Stow remain at large (and by all accounts weren’t even baseball fans), while Stow wears a hospital gown and lays in a Los Angeles hospital in a medically induced coma, after having part of his skull removed to allow for the swelling of his brain.  So, it looks like Steigerwald may get his wish.  Because it doesn’t seem likely this 42-year-old paramedic from SANTA CRUZ and father of two will be slipping on a Giants jersey any time soon.

Bryan Stow with his kids

The Lake NO Show

   It’s the question on every Angelino’s mind, “How much higher will gas prices go?”
Okay, maybe it’s the second question on some Angelinos’ minds... “What’s wrong with the Lakers?”

Lakers this season

   After winning 17 of its first 18 games after the All-Star Break, Los Angeles has dropped five straight games. (The longest losing streak for Kobe & Co. since dropping seven straight, during the 06-07 season...or the pre- Pau Gasol era) This Lakers team has been about as schizophrenic as Jim Carrey in Me, Myself & Irene.

   Blowing out Western Conference powers like Dallas and San Antonio, but losing to the likes of Utah (minus Coach, Jerry Sloan and point guard, Deron Williams) and the CLEVELAND CAVALIERS (that’s how Cavs owner Dan Gilbert spells it).

   So, with two games remaining before the NBA postseason begins and the Lakers tied with Dallas for the West’s two seed and Oklahoma City a game behind both of them at four, things are a bit dicey in "Laker Land".  Ron Artest is a liability once again...Mr Kardashian (Lamar Odom) needs to stop making reality shows, reserve Shannon Brown is the scape goat, Andrew Bynum and Pau Gasol are perplexed by the concept of offense and Matt Barnes may have too many tattoos.

Sulking? Crying? Wiping sweat from eyes?

   However, you don't hear too many negative things about old number 24..The Black Mamba or Kobe Bryant as he’s known by the IRS (taxes this Friday don’t forget..) as he consistently posts 10-25 shooting nights. “Kobe is just trying to get us back in the game.” Sure he scored L.A.’s last 14 points of the first half in Portland, but he also went 10-25…go figure…in the 93-86 loss.

   But, to finger point this late in the season would be suicidal…just ask the Boston Celtics…Sure Kobe is mad and sulks in the training room, interviews and anywhere else he can…But the glaring problem seems to be TO…No 49ers, Eagles, Cowboys, Bills and Bengals fans not that T.O. , but TO or turnovers.

   Prior to Sunday’s game, the Lakers were averaging 18.3 turnovers per game in their previous four losses. (20 turnovers against Denver, 19 against Utah, 17 against Golden State and 17 against Portland)

   Sunday versus the Thunder, it looked like the Lakers had figured things out. Through three quarters, L.A. committed only one turnover, but managed and eye popping NINE in the final 12 minutes. There’s less turnover at the post office…

   In the final three minutes, Kobe had a bad pass for a turnover, stepped out of bounds with the ball and lost the ball another time. (According to Bryant, all a result of good defense.) Despite the sloppy fourth the Lakers won the turnover battle 10 to 13 but lost the game, 120-106.

   Most baffling though, is that Laker fans seem distressed about this losing streak, and feel a third straight parade through Downtown L.A. is about as likely as a sequel to Gigli. If the Lakers don’t three-peat and there isn’t a parade…just imagine all the money Angelino’s would save on gas…



Please Mr. Jennifer Garner, NO SEQUEL!!!!



An Imperfect End

So how did that Kansas versus Ohio State matchup work out for ya?



Andre Rison's house thanks to his girlfriend

  Okay, so your bracket was torched quicker than former NFL wideout, Andre Rison’s house (see the late Lisa “Left Eye" Lopes).

  But wasn’t the whole Butler, VCU, UConn, Florida State, Morehead State thing fun?

   At first yes, but when the highest seed in the Final Four is a three and then Butler shoots 18.8% from the field in a 53-41 loss (worst shooting percentage in title game history) it leaves fans wanting more.

I’d watch Kansas play Ohio State or Duke right now despite what VCU, Kentucky and Arizona did to each of those teams.

Gary Busey..being Gary Busey

  

   Just because Butler’s offense was more clueless than Gary Busey doing the New York Times crossword puzzle, that doesn’t mean UConn shouldn’t be celebrated. The Huskies won 11 straight games in 27 nights and became the third team to start the season unranked and win the National Championship.

  
   But rather than run down the stats, and how amazing junior guard, Kemba Walker, is (not so good in the Title Game though, but he didn’t need to be..see 18.8%) the question remains, “is the tournament diluted by too many teams?”

Expanding the field by four teams didn’t seem like a big deal, but when one of those teams makes the Final Four…how do they say it in the twitter world…#OOPS
   So now, the six people that support the BCS have backed away from their computers and are standing on top of their desks yelling that this is a prime example of why the BCS WORKS! They argue that there has never been a national championship performance as horrific as last night’s Butler vs. UConn game during the BCS era…
Matt Leinart, Reggie Bush, Jason White and Adrian Peterson would beg to differ…
(2005 Orange Bowl USC 55 OU 19)
   Sports, like life and the late Elizabeth Taylor’s marriages, aren’t perfect. Does college football need a playoff? In my opinion, yes. Does the BCS work? Like Randy Moss’ marijuana habits (his words here) Once in a blue moon…If the NCAA had a playoff with 8-10 teams, essentially you would have the elite teams going head to head. Currently too much weight is placed on what voters think of a team before said team plays a game. (“The” Ohio State every season)
    And college basketball may have too many teams in the tournament, but I believe this year’s debacle was based on a lack of a true dominant team and players. (Yes Ohio State and Kansas entered the tourney with 32-2 records, but a six man rotation and a Bill Self team??) 18.8% or otherwise, arguably the best player in the nation is holding the trophy on April 5th…and no BYU fans his name is not Jimmer…


Kemba Walker celebrates a 53-41 win over Butler



A Nightmarish Precedent

Who doesn't love a good underdog story? Me...(DISCLAIMER: I was perfect in the East Region and had one of my better years with my bracket picks)



With both shoes ON for a change

Even so, I am and have never been a big fan of underdogs or cindarellas. (I mean she wears glass slippers and leaves them all over the place...worse than a Kardashian..)

Sure the American Dream is based on them, and many would tell you there's nothing about me that screams "Favorite!"  But you can't tell me every so often it's not fun to watch a team dominate from the beginning of a season to the end. (Ie. Jordan's Bulls) Unless you live in Utah of course (See 97' and 98' Jazz)..

Ok, maybe I'm still in the minority, but I'm certain the majority didn't expect the 2011 NCAA Tournament Underdog to be Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU). 


He didn't...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKbnRSIjjPk&feature=player_embedded
And neither did he..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ace6MPGIY2w&feature=player_embedded
Clueless analysts aside, five wins against five major conferences (Pac 10, Big East, Big 10, ACC, Big 12) and three games with 12 3-point field goals and VCU is Final Four bound.  Lucky? Possibly.  But, the Rams performance demands respect.  VCU is now the first team to go from the First Four to the Final Four (this is the first year the tournament has gone to 68 teams, instead of 64)
So, while the city of Richmond celebrates
http://www.buzzfeed.com/sportsfeeder/vcu-fans-take-to-richmond-streets-to-celebrate-tea-2h2q
college basketball fans should cringe.  VCU's run has now opened up a pandora's box of sorts. 

Do you know any of their names?

Selection Sunday was filled with controversy, because many thought Colorado and Virginia Tech were more deserving of Tournament bids than VCU and University of Alabama Birmingham (UAB).  But, unless you were a Buffalo or Hokie alum you got over it by Tuesday.  Now though, you can't help but wonder if this year's Final Four would have featured Colorado or Virginia Tech as well.

Many will say the selection committee seeded teams incorrectly, giving good teams poor seeds..But there was no argument, VCU and UAB didn't deserve to make this year's tourney.  Which begs the question..should the tournament allow more teams to participate?  More expansion?  Because if one of the last teams in the Tournament is Final Four worthy....

For now though, what seemed like fiction for VCU will reach its non-fictional conclusion this weekend.  And whether the glass slipper fits or not for the Rams, the 2011 Tournament will serve as a prelude to plenty more chaotic tournaments.  

Peer Pressure

Another day, another court appearance for LiLo

The East coast is covered in snow, Lindsay Lohan is in court, Chris Brown is angry and college students are partying. All of these seem to be year long occurrences, so unless you own a sun dial or an iPhone, good luck deciphering the month and date...But before you head to your nearest Apple Store, lets take one more look at the headlines...

Brackets, bubbles, TIElighters, Jayhawks, Blue Devils, Golden Bears and Eagles, Spiders and Huskies, Gus Johnson and Bill Raftery yelling about something...sounds like March Madness......
AND
Barry Bonds is on trial.

Ah, March 2011 is finally upon us.

Bonds of course holds the single season (73) and career (762)  home run records, but many believe he did so on steroids..a BIG no no..

Bonds claimed during the notorious BALCO trial that he, "Never knowingly took steroids." He thought he was being given a "flaxseed oil." Knowingly or unknowingly, Bonds admitted he took steroids. But, the federal government believes Bonds perjured himself and seeks "justice." 

And anyone that watches Law and Order (SVU, LA, Criminal Intent, Trial by Jury Conviction, UK) and I thought there were too many Survivors.....realizes a trial needs a jury.

688 times during his career, the former Pittsburgh Pirates and San Francisco Giants left fielder had his fate decided for him via an intentional walk...now his fate rests in the hands of 12 jurors.



Flaxseed Oil worked?

But how does the government plan to find 12 peers to Bonds ("a jury of his peers")..

For starters, I've never met anyone with a size 9 hat....

Here are a few of the questions asked of potential jurors. And remember, the ideal juror knows as little as possible about the case, probably is not a sports fan, hasn't really heard of Bonds and can deal with the issue of steroids in a fair and impartial manner....

"Have you previously served on a jury?"
This is like a 1 vs. 16 matchup...very simple..Yes or No

"Have you ever followed trials closely on TV, radio or in the news?"
  Of course! What else was there to watch on a Thursday? Jersey Shore?..

"Do you write your own blog or post comments to another blog?"
  Unless you're familiar with Vlahos' Voice..then no.

"Have you attended a professional baseball game in the last five years?"
  I didn't realize my love of cracker jacks was admissible.....Hey, who's on trial here!?

"Should government agencies be involved with pro sports and governing the use of steroids?"
  The government should get rid of the BCS, and stop filling out brackets!

"Do you have a favorable opinion of Barry Bonds?"
   bahahahah, LOL...oh you're serious?

"Can you think of any reason that would prevent you from being a fair and impartial juror in this case?"

The last question gets at the heart of the problem.  If you've heard of Barry Bonds, it's virtually impossible not to have an opinion about him. One way or another. The man is a polarizing figure.  If you've attended a baseball game and didn't drink ten $8 beers, you have some opinion on steroids in baseball. 
During his 22-year career, Bonds had virtually no peers, so how exactly do you plan to find 12...?

By no means am I saying this trial is unfair. Ridiculous? Yes. Karma? Yes.

Nobody seemed to mind when Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire looked like professional wrestlers hitting baseballs 700 feet, but when baseball's "bad guy and malcontent" did it...Things stopped being fun..it was time to get moral. Those in support of this trial say, "We will know the truth about the Steroid Era and Barry Bonds."

What else is there to know? The players (pitchers and hitters) were on steroids, ballparks were smaller, the baseballs may have been juiced, and the bats were harder. And Bonds "admitted" he was on steroids. What else could we possibly want or need to know?

So enjoy watching the government spend our money prosecuting a BASEBALL PLAYER because he hit too many home runs on drugs....

And I thought gas prices were a waste of money.

"I am not a crook."

A Crying Shame

There are a few unwritten rules in society....you
-don’t wear white after Labor Day 
-don’t talk with your mouth full
-the guy has to pay for dinner on the first date (even if dessert is the most exciting part of the date)
-and men aren't allowed to cry...
That last unwritten rule is the most scrutinized. Some people say men can't cry because it makes them seem soft or feminine.  And that men shouldn't cry because they are supposed to express their emotions in a more masculine way, or not at all.  Personally I think it depends on the situation.
Crying over the death of a loved one..good crying

Crying at the end of Toy Story 3..bad crying

What about when it comes to sports?  Should men cry when they get injured or fail? Again it depends.

Tear three knee ligaments..good crying

Former NFL Coach Dick Vermeil at every press conference...bad crying

Dick Vermeil press conference

In 1992 Tom Hanks told the world, "There's no crying in baseball!"

But what about basketball?

After losing its fourth straight game, the Miami Heat became exhibit A. 

(left to right)
Biggest Ego, Bigger Ego , Big Ego

Miami lost Sunday to the Chicago Bulls at home, 87-86 after blowing a double digit lead.  The loss ended a week that saw the three UmmEgos (LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh) lose at home to the New York Knicks (who Cleveland is 3-0 against this season)..blow a 24-point lead at home to Orlando..and lose by 30 in San Antonio. 

Except for the Spurs blowout, Miami had a chance to tie or win each of these games in the final seconds, only to have one of its three UmmEgos..er..stars miss the shot. (Miami is 1-16 in the final seconds of games when attempting to tie the score or take the lead this season..worst in the NBA)

Upsetting? Yes. Devastating? You bet. Worth crying about?.....
Following the game, Heat Coach Erik Spoelstra, mentioned at his press conference that some of his players were crying in the locker room.  The first question that comes to mind is...who? In a time where athelete's hearts and will to win is questioned isn't it good the Heat care this much?
Definitely, but I don't think the players (whoever they were) were crying because they were sad about the loss.  Maybe they just got the news that their Ipad is outdated..(thanks Steve Jobs and Ipad 2). Maybe someone was upset Charlie Sheen can't see his kids... Or maybe they were just frustrated.

While everyone wants to examine if the players should or shouldn't be crying, the real question is why Spoelstra felt the need to mention it.  What happens in the locker room stays in the locker room. (It's like Vegas, minus the slot machine bells and cigarette smoke).  The 40-year-old coach has been questioned all season, due to his lack of experience and questionable offense (he doesn't have one).  However, this is a firable offense.  He didn't just throw his players under the bus. He made the bus driver back up over them and run them over another time.  Earlier in the season LeBron bumped Spoelstra on the sideline during a timeout..it was clear the players didn't respect their coach.  Following Sunday's comments, they have no reason to trust him either. So, the debate whether men should express their emotions by crying rages on, but if Spoelstra is fired at the end of the season, don't expect anyone in the Miami locker room to shed a tear...

Can I get you a Kleenex coach?
Sorry Bosh used them all...