Friday, September 21, 2018

Reality TV Stars Win 1st NFL game in a REALLY Long Time

           For the better part of two years, when an NFL player takes a knee it’s been plastered all over social media, mass media and everywhere in between. Kneeling garners anger, praise, vitriol, and support. But, on September 20, 2018, in Cleveland, inside FirstEnergy Stadium, it signaled the end of 635 days in purgatory for the long suffering football fans of Cleveland, Ohio. 

            The Cleveland Browns (NOT the real ones, they play in Baltimore now) FINALLY WON A GAME! (Snapping a 19-game winless streak…because they tied two weeks ago and a tie isn’t a win or a loss and if you think it’s, “like kissing your sister” you probably shouldn’t say that out loud to anyone.…. that dates back to 12/24/16 when they defeated the Chargers). 
"I hate shirts!"
            Even Cleveland Cavalier, JR Smith, THE MAN WHO DIDN’T KNOW THE SCORE OF GAME 1 OF THE 2018 NBA FINALS AT THE MOST CRITICAL MOMENT….A GAME HE WAS ACTUALLY PLAYING IN…knew the Browns had won and the magnitude of the victory, thus leading him to remove his shirt…as he customarily does when in celebration. 
Johnny Canadian Football 
            After falling behind by 14 points to the New York Jets Thursday night, Browns starting quarterback, Tyrod Taylor, was knocked out of the game with a concussion and in came Cleveland’s Heisman Trophy winning QB. No, not that one..he’s north of the border now….The rookie signal caller who played his college ball at Oklahoma, Baker Mayfield. The 23-year-old went 17 of 23 for 201 yards with a 100.1 passer rating, even catching a two-point conversion. (If only the National Football League could make up a unique stat for Mayfield, like Major League Baseball did with WAR for Mike Trout so everyone would know he is really good, because the eyeball test isn’t sufficient.)
            While the city waits for the inevitable Indians (the baseball team, otherwise I’d have said Indigenous People, so no need to call your local state representative!) October flameout, it celebrated accordingly last night. Evoking memories of the last great celebration in the City, which came in 2016 when the Cleveland Cavaliers won the NBA Finals after falling behind 3-1, culminating in a Game 7 victory over the Golden State Warriors. 
 Monstars in Five Games
coming soon to a theater near you!
            Sure you could credit the Browns win to former Cavalier, Miami Heat, Cavalier again and now Los Angeles Laker, Lebron James (because it appears everything revolves around the newest star of the unwanted by any true fan of the original Space Jam sequel..) OR the Thursday Color Rush Jerseys (Cleveland hasn’t lost while wearing them this season) OR the departure of putrid kicker, Zane Gonzalez..OR perhaps head Coach Hue Jackson who improved to (2-31-1)! If Cleveland is anything like their Buckeye State Neighbor and AFC counterpart, the Cincinnati Bengals, are with their head coach, Marvin Lewis, Jackson should have a five-year extension sitting on his desk this morning…
            But, even if you were concussed or watching Kanye West Instagram stories (that seems like an oxymoron) it’s clear, Mayfield was the difference.
New King of Cleveland
            Number 6 is undefeated in his last two games in Ohio, planting the flag at midfield in the Horseshoe after beating Ohio State last year, and taking down New York on Thursday night in primetime.
            Now though, Mayfield and his band of reality TV Stars (HBO Hard Knocks) face their greatest challenge yet, with one last dragon to slay.
            Winning a Super Bowl? No.
            Playoffs?! That’s Fake News.
            Winning on Sunday!!!
            Cleveland hasn’t done that since earning a victory over the San Francisco 49ers on 12/13/15.
            Baby steps though, for now…here’s to the Cleveland Browns! America’s Team!