I Owe Yousss...

   Megan Fox, Britney Spears, Winona Ryder Lindsay Lohan, Uncle Leo from Seinfeld, and Mike Leake..

   Okay, there is a major drop off in name recognition and google image hits for the last two names, but these six people have one thing in common…All have been accused of shoplifting. Uncle Leo, stole a book from a library and was a sitcom character so I’ll give him a pass…but the actions of the remaining five leave me as dumbfounded as Dodgers “owner”, Frank McCourt…

G-rated picture of Megan Fox

   While Megan Fox continues to steal hearts, she learned the friendliest thing at Wal-Mart is the greeter. That's right, Megan Fox is banned from all Wal-Marts forever, just like your cousin.

   After stealing a $7 tube of lip gloss from a Florida branch in her troubled teenage years (and how many guys wish they knew her then), Fox was banned from ever stepping foot into their stores again.

Upon further review….she gets a pass.
   Kevin Federline’s old main squeeze, Britney Spears, has been rushed out of a store without paying for a $200 top (she was wearing it), swiped a disposable lighter from a gas station on her way out and took off with a wig from a sex shop once. Tough to blame her for the last one, she didn't have any hair…still though NO pass..
   Lindsay Lohan is in the news enough, and I’m tired of talking about her…..so
   Winona Ryder is a stone cold criminal after being arrested in 2001 for shoplifting more than $5,000 of merchandise from Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills. Winona was sentenced to three years probation and 480 hours of community service.
   All of this leads me to Cincinnati Reds pitcher Mike Leake. The right hander was arrested and accused of shoplifting last week. Employees at an area Macy's claim he stole almost $60 in property.

Now turn to your right...

   One local report suggests the incident might have been a botched exchange of merchandise. Leake released a statement after his arrest, apologizing "for this distraction." He declined to talk about the details after his Thursday start. There’s also, no truth to the report that the home plate umpire asked Leake to return the resin bag to the mound after his start….

   Here’s what makes the story so MIND BOGGLING…Leake was a first round pick in 2009 (8th overall) and received a $2,270,000 signing bonus. And on April ll, 2010 signed a Signed 1-year, $400,000 contract with the Reds and will earn $425,000 this year.. For those without a calculator let me do the math…
  
   $2,270,000 + $400,000 + $25,000 = a lot of stuff from Macys.

So why the five finger discount?
   According to the National Association for Shoplifting Prevention: One in 11 people commit the crime, 75 percent are adults, and one-third commit the crime habitually (more than once a month).Very few shoplift for profit -- about three percent, according to those NASP statistics. Instead, many shoplift for the thrill one feels when he or she conceals the item, walks through the door, turns around, and sees nobody pursuing.
   But this isn’t even the most puzzling case of a kleptomaniac athlete.
   Jennifer Capriati is a former World No. 1 professional tennis player, but not much of a shoplifter.
   In 1993, she was caught shoplifting jewelry at a suburban Tampa, Florida shopping mall. After trying on a number of inexpensive rings at a kiosk, Capriati left without taking off at least one of them. The ring was worth $15.!!!!!
   So I’m left asking the same question I started with. “What’s Megan Fox’s number”..errr I mean why do the rich engage in petty theft? Surely they can afford virtually anything. And maybe Leake is innocent, either way I’m going to need to get my hands on one of these shirts…after I swipe my credit card of course…

Clever....