Better Late Than Never

   With the NBA season almost upon us (a day away…check a calendar) the smell of pine needles, the sparkle of Christmas lights and  NBA Basketball just seem to go together like Kobe and a ho ho ho…allegedly.

They will not actually be wearing hats.

   But before you unwrap the presents (hopefully you didn’t get socks again this year) and enjoy the first regular season game of this lockout shortened season…. it’s time to take a look at the storylines heading into the season.

Will Kobe date a Laker girl?

Which NBA player will marry and divorce a Kardashian?

If Mark Cuban went to Jared for the Mavs Championship rings. (Dirk: “Ooo he went to Jared”)

Am I right?

Will Andrew Bynum admit once and for all…that Tracy Morgan is actually his father or twin brother?

After comparing team chemistry to making a tortilla, will Kevin Garnett change his nickname from 

“The Big Ticket” to “The Iron Chef”?

If someone discovers an actual Grizzly in Memphis..

If  the Washington Wizards can make it through a pregame shoot-around without weapons being drawn.

If Blake Griffin gets his own reality show…”Smog and the City”

If Suns point guard Steve Nash gets a haircut..

The chances Tim Duncan develops A PERSONALITY…(it is a short season so that’s unlikely)

He likes tattoos...a lot...

How  Denver’s Chris Andersen fits some new artwork on his skin canvas.  

When the Miami Heat will admit,  Dwyane Wade is Batman, Chris Bosh is ET and LeBron is..just 

annoying..

Will the Jazz have John Stockton throwback shorts night..

If an All Star jumps over Justin Bieber in the Slam Dunk Contest.

How Ray Allen reacts to having his kids take away his car keys given his age..

If Gummy Bears and Pizza make it on the Chicago Elementary School Lunch Menu in honor of Bulls MVP, Derrick Rose…

The Metta World Peace saga…known as Ron Artest or that crazy dude that beats up fans in some circles..

If Chris Paul will complain about traffic and demand a trade back to New Orleans.

Back to school or the Conference Finals?

It's discovered that Kevin Durant carries Tim Tebow in his backpack.

If Twolves point guard Ricky Rubio, from Spain…. is fined for missing games due to a mid afternoon siesta..

Someone explains how Tracy McGrady is STILL IN THE LEAGUE…I mean really

After retiring from the NBA, former Trailblazer Brandon Roy becomes a hockey goalie..

THE JIMMER…in Sacramento (the capital of California..despite Shaq’s geography)

If J.J. Barea gets to ride his first rollercoaster..(vertically restricted)

How soon Phil Jackson leaves his peyote and cabin in the woods of Montana for the bright lights of 

MSG to coach the Knicks.

If LeBron can tweet, Dwight Howard gets traded, and an NBA player Tebows on the same night thus causing ESPN to explode….

HAPPY NBA SEASON TO ALL AND TO ALL A  _____________________

  
(DAVID STERN DISALLOWED THE LAST LINE)

He knows when you're sleeping...and he knows when you're awake

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this blog are exclusively those of this author and do not represent the thoughts or opinions nor are they condoned by anyone employed by or associated with KAGS or any of its affiliates.