Back Where they Started! (Assuming Cleveland doesn't want them)

 January 12^th 2016, a proud day for Angelinos everywhere! Our football team is officially coming home!!

Ahh, the good old days

 After hours of celebrating in the streets, looting, breaking into cars, and shooting off our guns like the Lakers won another Championship (lord knows that’s not happening for awhile) it’s back to work.

  As Americans anticipate tonight’s $1.5 billion lottery numbers, we in LA learned our magic numbers will now be 6-10, and 7-9 every fall! That’s of course because slimeball  entrepreneur Stan Kroenke convinced the NFL (30-2 vote) that the St. Louis Rams should be back in Los Angeles.

Likes Palm Trees more than the Arch

  The $6.3 billion, Columbia Missouri native owns parts of the Colorado Avalanche, Denver Nuggets, Colorado Mammoth (they play something), Colorado Rapids (soccer, definitely soccer) and now LOS ANGELES Rams.

 While we in Los Angeles could truly care less about him or his mustache, many Missourians feel betrayed and knifed by their native son. They should channel that misplaced anger though…

Georgia Frontiere and her witchcraft 

  
 St. Louis is that friend who takes your Tupperware (Rams for purposes of my point) because they enjoyed the pasta primavera (football) and just never return it. Los Angeles needed that Tupperware back eventually.

Or better yet…a witch, with 6 former husbands swooped in and stole our Rams…so if you think about it St. Louis…the team was never really “yours”…it was actually Cleveland’s first. (1936–1942, 1944-1945) I’m guessing the Cleveland Rams wouldn’t have possibly been more useless then the current Browns.

LA's old Fearsome Foursome

  
 48 years in LA trumps 20 in the, “Show me State”. Sure the St. Louis Rams played in two Super Bowls, winning one on the goal line, and having practices video taped in another, but the Fearsome Foursome would have beaten the Greatest Show on turf..(they’d all lose to the 1995-1996 Bulls of course).

LA's current Fearsome Foursome

  The point is, you can probably get the Chargers, Raiders or an expansion team if you want! (Please take the Chargers, Los Angeles already has Bieber and the Kardashians we don’t need more trash.)
 
  We will love watching Nick Foles, and Case Keenum sling it around! Or Howie Long’s kid and King Leonidas (wait not the guy from 300?)   James Laurinaitis chase the quarterback! A new stadium in Inglewood after playing at the Coliseum again and other nonsense aside, if the Rams hope to be sustainable in Los Angeles they must do two things.

 1.) Avoid witches (see above)

 2.) Win games

Coached Titans to a Rams Super Bowl!

#2 has proven challenging for the Rams current head coach, Jeff Fisher, who hasn’t been relevant since he was wearing lady's sunglasses with his surly demeanor patrolling the Titans sideline with Steve McNair as his quarterback. 

 There is one alternative to success though. LALA Land is built on the tears of failed actors, models and botched plastic surgery, so if the Rams can’t win, they must find a way to be compelling. And I have just the answer..

Johnny. Hollywood.