A Ringing Headache

The most coveted ring in Texas was returned to its rightful owner yesterday near Houston. A Super Bowl ring you ask?...No way..I said Texas, what teams in Texas do you know of that have won any Super Bowls lately?

However, the ring did belong to a member of the Dallas Cowboys, wide receiver Roy Williams. Although the Cowboys and Williams in particular had a disappointing 2010 season, the former Longhorn made the most expensive reception of his life yesterday in Houston.  A $76,000 reception to be precise, let me explain..

Roy Williams, pre-breakup 

Williams is not dating or engaged to a Kardashian, explaining why he hasn’t won a championship…but he had been dating a former Miss Texas, Brooke Daniels, for close to a year. In February Williams had some free time on his hands (see Dallas Cowboys) and Brooke had some extra space on hers. So, Roy decided that marriage was the only reasonable thing to do. And like most guys, he wanted the moment to be right when he proposed.

After selecting a $76,000 ring (somewhere Kris Humphries-Kardashian is laughing and crying.) he brainstormed the best way to pop the question.

Ring in the champagne or dessert? Nah, way over done. Carriage ride, mariachi band and stroll in the park? He went to Texas, so he doesn’t like carriages or wagons (see rival Oklahoma Sooners mascot). Stadium proposal on the big screen? Former Texas QB Colt McCoy already did that.

Williams was clueless, and isn’t that what got former Cowboys head coach Wade Phillips fired? But then it him!

After recording a marriage proposal, he grabbed a manila envelope and a postage stamp (amazed at how high the cost of postage is in this country) Williams dropped the recording and the $76,000 RING IN THE PACKAGE and MAILED THEM to Daniels, days before Valentine’s Day.

SURPRISINGLY…Daniels didn’t appreciate Cassanova’s effort and declined his proposal, leading to a messy break up.  Daniels promised she would mail the ring back to Williams…what she forgot to mention is she would have FEMA mail it back for her…
After months of waiting for his wedding ring, Williams recently filed a lawsuit against the beauty queen claiming she had stolen his ring. (Roger Clemens thinks this case is a waste of tax payer dollars…)
Thankfully Daniels' mother stepped in and tells reporters that the ring was returned to Williams’ attorney yesterday.
The lovely couple aside, this whole ordeal could have been avoided if Roy wasn’t living in the 19th century.
MAILING A RING? WHO MAILS ANYTHING NOWADAYS?

Brooke Daniels, not a fan of US Mail

That’s like using a fax, or carrying a pager…Williams could have written on Brooke’s facebook wall, or if he wanted to keep it private, sent her a message. And added a :) at the end. The two of them could change their relationship statuses to engaged and all would have been well.

Maybe Brooke and Roy think facebook is outdated, okay then use Twitter…(not MySpace, sorry Justin Timberlake)
@RoyWilliams11: @BrookeDaniels “Roses are red violets are blue, I want to spend the rest of my life with you..” #willyoumarryme?
How could that fail? Instead Roy must pick up the pieces of his shattered relationship and wait for the NFL lockout to end. On the bright side though, when the 2011 season concludes (assuming it happens) he will finish it with a ring…